So, You Think I'm An Ice Queen?
by AJeff
Summary: Having had too much to drink, the Pretender and Ice Queen finds themselves waking up together in bed. Was it a mistake or a new beginning from their night of passion?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own "The Pretender"**

There lives were predestined from the very first time they met. Although he thought of her as beautiful, she was cold to the touch. She reminded him of ice and knew exactly how to paste on a smile when it all became too much. In his eyes, she was an "ice queen". She had a tantalizing affect on him each time those icy blues of hers met his warm dark chocolates. Always on her guard, she has never trusted anyone.

With cautiousness, she watched his every move. A mask she's never tried to break, her coldness never allowed her to boil over, never to melt with the heat of his heart. She never allowed herself the thawing she so yearned with the burning desire she felt within herself. She fantasized about him, his dimpled smile, mahogany colored eyes and what she thought was the perfection of man. She desired the one thing she could never have. Her love for him was disguised in secret. She promised herself never to give into his passion, no matter how much she loved him. She's never known his touch, but, craved for it.

He attempted to win her heart. He's never looked at another woman the way he looks at her. In his eyes she was flawless. Yet, she was untouchable, never allowed him the closeness he so desired. Never has he felt the satisfaction of his yearnings for her. Sadness and loneliness filled their lives. "The Centre" blinded their love and happiness which they so richly deserved.

He greeted her frozen shield with love and warmth. Without realizing, her heart had begun to melt, unlocking the secrets that had been kept intact for as long as she could remember. It was the beginning of a new day. The sunlight shone through the laced curtains in Miss Parker's bedroom.

"Hey there, Sunshine," he said.

Miss Parker stretched her long nude body and yawned. She sat up suddenly, grabbed her head from the excruciating pain, then fell back into bed.

"My head's killing me," she cried out.

"I'm not feeing so great myself. We had a bit too much to drink." He curled up, pulled her into him and lightly kissed the smoothness of her bare skin.

She pushed him aside. "Jarod, get over on your side of the bed. You're squashing me."

"Didn't know I had my own side of this bed," he mumbled.

Her blue eyes widely opened. "Jarod," she said softly.

"Hmm? What?"

"Jarod? Jarod!" Sitting up, she shook him hard.

"Cut it out, Parker. You're making me dizzy," he yelled.

"What the hell are you doing here? Naked! In my bed?" She hollered.

"Look down at yourself, you're not exactly dressed for a prom!"

Miss Parker sobered up quickly and grabbed her tee shirt off of the floor which had been discarded the night before.

"Bastard!" She yelled.

"Halloween's just around the corner, Parker, shouldn't you be gathering sticks for your broom?" Jarod growled.

"Shit! Shit! Shit! What have you done? What have we done?"

Jarod rolled flat on his back. He couldn't keep his eyes off of her. "Ah, you're beginning to remember last night, I see."

Roughly, she pulled the blanket over him. "Cover up, for heaven's sakes! You're a disgusting sight!"

"Rip my heart out, why don't you? You weren't complaining last night! If I recall correctly, you were the initiator."

"Shut up!" She screamed.

"Didn't realized you were such a screamer until last night. I'm sure you woke up the neighbors. Was it good for you as it was for me?" He gleamed at her.

"This isn't funny!" She hit him over the head with a pillow. "Where's my gun? Where is it?" She asked frantically.

"Just in case you'd have second thoughts of us when you got up, I disposed of it temporarily." Jarod sat up and reached for her black-laced panty which hung from the bedpost. "You want this?" He twirled it in mid-air.

"Give me that! You're really enjoying yourself, aren't you? Aren't you?!"

"Need help with your undies? It's only right since I was the one who..."

"I'm going to kill you," she snarled. Quickly, she slipped it on.

He stared at her eyes. "You have a gentle soul, Parker. I can see through you."

"I kill people in my sleep!"

"Your eyes shows full of love and affection, but, you've guarded it so well that no one could see past them."

"So, you think I'm some sort of damsel in distress and you're my knight-in-shinning armor who came to my rescue last night just because you sure did a great job of thawing this "ice queen"?"

"Thank you," he winked at her. "That great, huh?"

"Stop that gloating! I can't believe I, we...Shit!" She hollered.

"Parker, calm down. It's not like we were unfaithful to others. We were two consenting adults, who...let's see. Let me put this in plain english, you were the one who hopped on me!" He laughed. "What are you getting so upset for?"

"Look, I tripped and fell on you! That's all! I barely had anything to eat yesterday, I was hungry and felt slightly light-headed when I, again, I'll say this...I tripped and fell on you! What part don't you understand?"

"Huh! It looked like you were hungry alright. But, not for food. Me! You were hungry for me! What now? I walk away like nothing ever happened? I wasn't playing a "pretend" last night. How about we talk about us?"

"Us? Us? There is no us, Einstein! Get out! Will you just get out?" Parker sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed her temples. "I don't believe I did this. God, what would "The Centre" think?"

"What? "The Centre"? Are you planning on wearing a sign saying, "Boy genius bedded me down last night! Whee! What a night!" You want to advertise this newly found curriculum of ours?"

"It's not suppose to be like this," she mumbled sitting at the foot of the bed.

"What was that, Miss Parker?" Jarod moved closer to her. "Not supposed to be like what? You sleeping with the enemy?" She felt his breath on the back of her neck and lightly felt a kiss.

"Stop it, Jarod! Just because I let you in me last night, doesn't mean I'll ever allow it again. I said stop it!"

He didn't and playfully blew in her ear.

"I mean it," she snapped and glared at him. "Quit playing around."

"Okay." He pulled away. "Is it so wrong to want some human contact? You're lonely, too."

Parker watched as he pulled up his briefs and jeans in front of her. Images of their night flashed through her mind.

Jarod sat shirtless next to her. "Parker, I'm sorry I took advantage of you. You may have initiated that kiss, but, I should have stopped before it escalated."

"I should have shot you. Why do you do that? You don't want to be caught by "The Centre", but yet, you lurk around here at my place." She fluffed her hair.

Jarod shrugged. "Just making sure you're alright. You come across cold, unfeeling and detached to people. And you seem to have the pleasure of doing it. Apparently, you have difficulties in dealing with reality and life."

"Well, Jarod, if you had a life like mine, wouldn't you be like me? Distant and unable to trust anyone?"

"Oh, my life's just picture perfect. Want to trade? I've watched you. You seem at ease in your homey surroundings, but, out in the real world, you have an image of an "ice queen". Why?"

She sighed. "I think that people in life don't express as much as they should. People hide their true feelings most of the time."

"And what about last night? Did you express exactly what you felt about me, in the privacy of your own home? Do you remember the events of last night?" He waited for what seemed like forever before she answered.

"I remember. Everything." She softened.

Miss Parker recapped their moments which surprised Jarod.

"I remember I forced you at gunpoint into the house. You called a truce. I agreed. Stupidly, I suppose. You joined me in a drink, another and then another." She turned to him. "How many did we have?"

"Too many, Parker." He turned locking his eyes on hers.

Unconsciously, she relaxed and grabbed hold of his hand interlocking their fingers. "I wanted to kiss you. So, I did. I knew what I was doing."

"So, did I," he replied looking down at their hands thinking how perfectly they fit together.

"Even if you had wanted to stop, I wouldn't have been able to," she said.

"I didn't want to stop. I couldn't stop," he said.

"You made me feel warmth in the comfort of your strong arms. You made me feel safe, you made me feel like there were no more pains and sorrows of the past." She brought his hand to her lips giving it a soft peck.

"Parker, I think I'd better leave before we forget..."

"Jarod, you made me happy even if it were only for that moment. A lot happier than I've ever been. I loved the way you carried me into the bedroom. You stripped me of my clothing slowly and carefully. I watched as you undressed slowly. All the while even if it was for only several seconds, it felt like an eternity. I wanted to tear your clothes off. You took your time. You whispered words of sweetness. I loved your soft kisses on my neck, the taste of alcohol on your tongue on mine, your nibbling and soft sucking of my breasts. You made me tingle even more when I felt your mouth all over. Then, you slowly crawled atop of me. Do you remember what happened next, Jar?"

"I remember everything, every detail. You flipped me over, kissed every inch of my body. You got a little out of hand."

"Uh-huh." Parker pointed to the love bites on his chest.

Both seemed happy, as they reminisced and simply enjoyed each other's presence.

"You lost control, I lost control. You were very loud. You surprised me. You've hissed and snarled at me lots of times, but, Parker, it was to a different tune last night. And then we...I guess we weren't that drunk. We remember it all. I hadn't expected you to have woken me up three hours later for a repeat performance."

Miss Parker smiled. Silence filled the air.

"What are you thinking of?"

"You," she answered wrapping her arms around him.

"What about me?"

A sigh escaped from her lips. She lifted her gaze to him. His fingers lightly brushed over her cheek. Her hand ran affectionately across his chest.

"I've missed you, Jarod. The way everything use to be...you were my best friend. I went away. You ran for your life and when I returned, you became my enemy. I'm sorry. I never meant for your life to be the way it is. Always on the run. It must be so lonely out there."

"You get used to it." He stroked her hair.

"I can't help but sometimes hate you. You left "The Centre". I'm still there," she said sadly. "And I don't know what it is about you, but, I'm not just existing when I'm with you."

"What happens next, Parker?" Jarod asked concerned about the obstacles that awaited them.

"Don't know". She stood up and faced her "pretender". She looked into his eyes and fell into his arms. "Does this have to end?"

"Do you want it to end?" He asked as he held on to her.

"No," she answered without hesitation.

"I asked myself many times, if I could spend the rest of my life without you. The answer's always the same. No." Jarod pulled his "huntress" on him laying back into bed.

"Jarod, it's dangerous being around you. We could get in too deep and..."

He lowered her face to his and their mouths met. "What are you going to do about it?" He muttered between kisses.

Parker pulled away and hovered over him. "Exciting and dangerous, that's what you are. You do know what you're getting yourself into?"

"I know. Do you? I'll walk away now, if you tell me to, Parker."

"I can't and I won't."

Their kiss wasn't hard and passionate, but, warm and tender.

"Jarod?"

"What?"

"So, you think I'm an "ice queen"?"

He laughed.

"Jarod, I'm not strong enough to let you go."

"And all I can promise is to never let you go, Parker."

**TBC - Chapter 2**


	2. Chapter 2

Jarod got out of his car. The entire house was pitched black. A feeling of terror crossed his mind. Unlocking the front door, he turned on the light, his eyes roamed quickly around the living room. Everything seemed in place, yet, his heart pounded loudly.

"Parker!" He called out. There was no answer. "Parker!" Still, no answer. He held his breath. For several seconds, horrifying images entered his mind. He walked into the bedroom and let out a sigh of relief. There she was, sprawled on the bed dressed only in a scantily nighty, her dark hair fanned across the pillow, she smiled naughtily.

"Trick or treat," she said in her throaty voice as she held her arms out to him.

"I'll give you a treat," he said to his seductive temptress.

Parker laughed wickedly.

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Miss Parker leaned back against Jarod's chest as they soaked in the warm water of the bathtub, complete with bubbles. Softly lit scented candles completed the atmosphere.

"Happy?" He asked kissing the back of her neck.

"Yes." She closed her eyes, relaxed and enjoyed the moment.

He gently slid a wash cloth slowly across her front.

"A little lower, please."

"Like this?" He whispered as he rubbed between her legs.

"Yes, perfectly like that," she purred.

He planted several soft kisses on her neck and shoulders. "You're beautiful, you know that? I love you."

She turned to face him, her blue eyes glistened. "I love you, too. Now kiss me here and here and here." She pointed to her cheek, lips and breasts.

"A little demanding, aren't you?"

"It's the "ice queen" in me."

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The only light came from the fireplace which illuminated the living room. They laid snuggled quietly in front of the crackling fire, Parker's head rested atop Jarod's chest.

"Ready to go to bed?" He asked.

She shook her head. "No, I like it like this. You, me. In front of the fireplace. Isn't it romantic?"

He felt her heart smile. "I'd never imagined you like this."

"Like what?"

"The cuddling type. The romantic type." His fingers ran through her hair.

"And to think, those first few days of being together, I was just softening you up, waiting for the perfect moment to bring you back to "The Centre". And now tonight's our one month anniversary." She kissed him passionately. He pulled away and sat up.

"Jar? What's wrong?" She asked puzzled.

"What are you talking about?" His voice deepened with a slight sound of anger.

"What? You're not making any sense at all."

"What do you mean softening me up? This was just a plan, a game to you? To get me back "home" to "daddy"?"

"It's nothing," she smiled, but, almost afraid to. "I love you."

"This thing between us started as a game for you to take me back to them?" He raised his voice. "Have me fall into your arms? And back with them?"

She was silent and lowered her eyes away from him.

"Don't you turn away from me. Everything you said to me was a lie, Parker?"

"No! It's not what you think. It started out...no! I really do love you. I never lied about loving you."

"So, tell me, Miss Parker. How many times did I make love to you before you realized it was no longer a game? That you finally loved me? In the beginning you felt nothing? But, you did it anyway, because I was your job assignment. Reel me in? Back to "The Centre"? I'm sure "daddy" would have loved to know how you did it."

"It's not a game anymore. I love you. Isn't that what matters?"

"You used me, Parker. And here I was like a stupid fool, happily in love! I'll do you a favor, I'll stay out of your life forever!"

"You don't mean that. You can't just walk out of my life."

"Watch me!"

"No! You're not leaving me! Think of these weeks...cold nights together..."

"You're a very good actress! All those times, it was just an act to get me back to "The Center"!

"No. I..."

"I'll be out of your house in a flash!" He yelled walking towards the bedroom.

She yanked his arms to her. "Stop it! I'm not asking you to leave!"

"No. I'm leaving on my own free will. You think I'm some sort of fool to stay here? Don't touch me!" Jarod pushed her hands away as she caressed his face.

"Where are you going?" She cried.

"As far away from you as I possibly can! You were so believable. You sure fooled me. There were a lot of things I learned from Sydney, but, what he failed to make me aware of, was how conniving and manipulative you can be."

"Don't leave, stay here with me." She reached out to him.

He stepped back. "Get the hell away from me! What makes you think I'd want to stay with you after your games of deceit? You make hating you so easy, Miss Parker."

"You don't mean that. I"m sorry. I really am so sorry," she cried.

"You even shed real tears!"

"Jarod. I've never been happier. Please believe me. You're just going to cut me out of your life? I'm begging you! Please don't leave!"

"Don't beg , Parker. Only dogs beg! You used me in bed thinking you'd get me back to "The Centre"! And your payment was for "daddy" to set you free from that hell-hole. And futhermore...forget it...I'm just wasting my time talking to you! And repeating myself. Back to "The Centre". Back to "The Centre". "Back to "The Centre"! Is that all I was to you? Is that all you wanted from me? Your ticket out of the "The Centre!" Don't you know how much I hate that place?"

"I love you, Jarod."

"You don't love anyone but yourself, Miss Parker! Don't chase me anymore. Because I'll never be ready for you to catch me ever again."

"Don't do this to me, Jar. Tell me you love me. Tell me you need me as much as I love you and need you."

"No."

"You might as well cut off my air supply at this instant! You don't know what you're doing to me inside!"

He stared at her, but, said nothing.

"How can you be so cold, we mean so much to each other. You just can't turn off your feelings for me. "

"I learned well from the "ice queen, darling," he said coldly. "How could you, Parker? How could you have played with my heart? I've never done anything to you but love you."

"Jar..."

"That caring, sensitive little girl I once knew died inside of you and out emerged this heartless woman who thought nothing of piercing a lance through my heart."

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She made him think she was harmless and was a victim of "The Centre". He trusted her, believed in her. She never meant for it to have gone as far as it had. Afterall, he was just an assignment to her, a job. The "huntress" lured her "prey" into her web of deceit hungrily. A venomous predator, she was poison to the touch. Her weapon of choice was her kisses of deadly poison.

He entered unknowingly and willingly as she spun her web entrapping him for her own pleasure and need. She smiled on the inside and lured him into her, ready for the kill, but, somehow, her plans had backfired as she found the path to the "pretender's" heart instead.

**TBC - Chapter 3**


	3. Chapter 3

Crumpled wet tissues were thrown on the floor. Pitifully curled up in a fetal position, Miss Parker allowed her tears to flow freely. A glimmer of what was once hope no longer existed. Every inch of her home was a reminder of him. Having always wanted a house with flowers alongside a white picket fence, images in her mind of a ghoulish grey instead, now surrounded her little manor.

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"This is Sydney."

"How are you, Sydney?"

"Jarod. It's good to hear from you. I'm fine. And you? It's been a couple of months since you've called."

"I've been busy," he answered.

"Yes, I assume pretending takes up a lot of your time."

"Haven't done much of anything lately."

"Jarod, is something wrong? Has something happened? Where are you?" The doctor asked concerned.

"I'm close by. Never far away from home," he said tiredly.

"Jarod?"

"Betrayal and deceit. I've never felt it until now. I don't know if I can be a forgiving person."

"I see. Who is this person that's making you feel like this?"

"It doesn't matter. It's over."

"I'm sorry." The psychiatrist sighed loudly. "My children of "The Centre". Always hurting."

"What do you mean by that?"

"It's Miss Parker. She's suffering from her own kind of pain."

"You know, Sydney, she sometimes is the cause of the pain in people's lives."

"You two may have your differences, but, right now, she needs a friend. She's been through a lot. Be a friend to her like you once were. When you were very young."

"That was a very long time ago. She's lived with pain all of her life, she should be used to it. I didn't call to talk about Parker," he lashed out suddenly.

"Jarod...I see. Pain, betrayal and deceit. It's Miss Parker."

"That's why you're the shrink and I'm not," he sarcastically answered.

"Physically she's fine now. But, mentally..."

"What do you mean physically? Something happened?"

"She's been out of the hospital for a week."

"Bleeding ulcers? Tell her to quit the booze," he said unconcerned.

"When was the last time you've spoken to her?"

"When I walked out of her house two months ago. Unless you count the several times she's tried calling me. Told her to leave me the hell alone," he answered cockily.

"Would you have gone back if you knew the reason for her calls?"

"What possible reason would there be? Nothing would ever get me back into that "ice queen's" life."

"Well, there's no reason anymore, Jarod, considering she just lost your baby."

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With each passing day, dreams of her child, which would never be, entered her thoughts. Their precious daughter would be the image of her father with beautiful chestnut-colored eyes. She'd be daddy's little girl. It saddened her that her life was full of anguish. She felt the pain of her mother's death, but, the pain of losing a child would be one she'd never be able to cope with. She blamed herself for the lost of her baby having been punished for her mother's deception.

Burying her face into a pillow, she cried sorrowfully. Miss Parker let out a scream when she felt strong arms gently grabbed hold of her.

"I'm sorry, Parker. I spoke to Sydney."

She pulled away, gasped and caught her breath. "Jarod! What are you doing here? How'd you get in?"

"I still have my house keys. Are you alright?" He asked holding in his tears.

"Look at me. Do I look alright?" She wept.

"No. How could you be. You just lost our baby," he said painfully. "I-I didn't know. I didn't know."

"I tried to tell you. I called you several times..."

"I know." With his fingers, he wiped her tears away.

"You cut me off each time. You left me all alone." Hot burning tears filled her eyes.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say, but, I'm so very sorry."

"I was almost twelve weeks. Blood, so much blood. Debbie had been with me at the time. She called for help."

Tears trickled down Jarod's face as he sat listening.

"I would have taken care of my baby all by myself. Only, I never had her long enough to even know the feeling of holding her."

"Her?"

"I wanted a daughter. But, not like me. I wanted her to be someone other than what I've grown up to be. I wanted her to be like Debbie. I would have raised her away from "The Centre". And away from you, since you didn't want me in your life. You just don't know the feeling of having someone growing in you, loving them more each day. I felt little flutters in me. This...this creature in me...I...I was going to be a mommy. And the joy I felt was suddenly snatched away from me. Now all I feel is emptiness."

He held on to her. "I may have left, but, I never stopped loving you. I love you. I'll help you get through this, if you'll let me."

"Jarod?" She looked into his eyes tearfully.

"What is it?" He kissed her lightly on the lips.

"Leave your keys on the table when you go," coldly, she said. "There's no reason for you to be with me anymore. The one thing which could have held us together is no longer here."

Surprised by her sudden change of demeanor, he slowly stood up, stuck his hand into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out his keys. Removing her house key from the rest, he laid it on the table.

"As you wish. I'll never stop loving you, Parker. I was wrong in leaving. I should have been here when you needed me."

"I don't need anyone. Especially you," she said hurtfully. "Not anymore."

"Parker, I should never have walked out on you. It was a mistake," he said wiping his tears away.

"I couldn't stop crying when you left," she screamed. "I lost so much sleep over you!"

"But, I'm here now."

"And? Can you bring my baby back? Can you?" Miss Parker screamed even louder. "Answer me!"

"No. I can't. I can't." His voice cracked. He tried to grab her hand, but she pulled away.

"Then get out. Get out! Get the hell out of my house and out of my life, Jarod!"

"You don't mean that, Parker." It killed him to see her in so much pain.

"I didn't want you to leave. Remember? You left anyway. Now, I don't want you here. I really don't."

"Okay. Okay." Jarod bent down to kiss her one last time when she turned her head away.

"Don't."

"I'll go, if that's what you really want."

"Just go. I'm tired of crying. This is not a roller coaster game where our relationship goes up and down. I'm just tired of everything. I deserve a life better than this."

"We can make it better, if you'll give me a chance."

"I don't give chances, Jarod."

"I run, you chase, Parker?"

"It's Miss Parker to you."

"Alright. I run, you chase, Miss Parker?"

"Not anymore, Jarod. You run and keep on running. I won't be the one running after you. The chase is over." She choked on her tears. "I'm not shedding anymore tears over you. The "ice queen's" back."

"I won't bother you anymore. No more late night telephone calls. No more lurking around this place. It's a promise. Take care of yourself, Miss Parker." He then walked out of her life.

**TBC - Chapter 4**


	4. Chapter 4

They vowed their love to each other and talked about their hopes and dreams, only for it to be destroyed.

Flashback

"You're mine, Parker. I would never let you go."

"And I would never leave or ever ask you to leave. I'm yours to keep, Jarod."

End Of Flashback

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His world shattered forever. Jarod tossed and turned mournfully in bed since learning of the loss of his child, which he never knew existed. Several empty bottles of liquor laid on the floor in his bedroom. He got up just long enough to head to the bathroom and back into bed drowning his sorrows. Rarely a drinker, at first he would slowly sip the contents, but, eventually having grown accustomed to the taste, he guzzled down his vodka as if in a race to see who could out drink patrons in a bar.

His whites of his eyes were bloodshot, his face was sunken and he had the beginnings of a beard as he numbly drank to his content. Jarod raised his head to the ceiling, opened his mouth widely and tipped his last bottle of booze shaking it vigorously until there were no more drops of the hard liquor. Throwing the bottle against the wall, he then, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand falling back into bed. There was no doubt he loved Parker. He felt his heart break more with each passing moment.

Miss Parker was no more an "ice queen" as he was a "pretender". Not only was she suffering from the loss of her baby, but, also the loss of Jarod, which she sorrowfully regretted throwing him out of her life. She hugged a little stuffed "teddy" bear which she excitedly bought on finding out the news of her pregnancy. The sadness of her blue eyes starred out of the living room window and somehow she had hoped that Jarod would be out there somewhere lurking around, although deep down, she knew he was gone forever. She longed to be comforted in his arms.

Teardrops fell on "teddy" as she gently kissed him. It would have been her child's first of many stuffed collections. Her face fell into her hands and sobbed uncontrollably. She caressed her belly and no longer felt the fluttering movements which was once a sign of her baby's life. At times, though, she felt surely of her precious one moving inside of her. Miss Parker laid many sleepless nights dreaming of her unborn child which would never exist. On the news of her pregnancy, she wondered how "daddy", Lyle and "The Centre" would react to the little life which was growing inside of her. She blamed herself for the outcome and thought of the many ways she could have prevented her loss. Envious of other women, she'd ask herself why were they the fortunate ones who were blessed with bundles of joy.

Staring down at her tummy, she stood in the shower and cried. Life was not fair, nor was it distributed fairly and it broke her heart knowing that nothing could ever replace the loss of her child. Parker closed her eyes and felt her world crumbling before her. She slid down onto the shower floor as her tears mixed in with the water sprays.

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It had been a week since Fate's cruelty parted them. Miss Parker's words were meant to hurt Jarod. She held the phone in her hand, but, hesitated on dialing his number. Although afraid of his rejection, she needed to give their relationship at least one more try. Holding on to her breath, she paused each time she dialed a number. Love was never meant to be in her vocabulary for she never meant to love him. The huntress and her prey, that was all it should have been, never had she expected her heart to have opened up so easily to have fallen in love with him. As Parker counted the rings, she felt the anticipation of his rejection. Quickly, she disconnected the call deciding to pay him a visit instead.

Jarod brought her to his hideaway once. Pushing her finger into the button of the doorbell, Parker waited, but, there was no answer. Jiggling the knob, the door opened freely. Inviting herself into his home, she walked into what looked like an aftermath of a tornado.

"Jarod?" She called out. As she worked her way into his bedroom, there on the floor were several empty bottles of liquor and beer cans. It was 2:00 in the afternoon and his bed was unmade. Her eyes roamed around his room.

At the sound of his voice, she jumped suddenly.

"I wasn't expecting company," Jarod said as he walked out of the bathroom in shorts, his body slightly wet. "What do you want? Last I saw you, you didn't want anything to do with me."

"What...what are you doing?" She scolded as she held up an empty bottle.

"None of your concern, Miss Parker. I live as I please. I don't answer to anyone."

Parker marched out of the bedroom and quickly appeared back with a trash bag. "Let me help you clean up your mess," she hissed under her breath.

"If I wanted a maid, I would have hired one, Miss Parker." He stood arrogantly leaning his weight on one leg with his arms crossed in front.

"Well, let's pretend I'm your maid for today." There was clinking of the bottles as she threw them into the plastic bag. "Why are you still standing here, get a bag and clean up the living room. How the hell can you live like this, Jarod?" Her eyes glared at him.

"Like I said, I wasn't expecting company."

"Get off your sorry ass and help me clean up! You can't live like a pig! I've never seen you like this!" She pointed a finger at him.

"Well, I've never lost a child before. You seem to be over it. How did you cope?"

"I'm still grieving, Jarod. But, your way is not the way to do it." She continued with his mess.

"Well, how exactly is the right way? Huh? You tell me!"

She snarled at him. "Not this way!"

"Why are you really here, Miss Parker? I don't think we have anything to say to each other."

Ignoring him, she continued cleaning up. After a couple of minutes, Jarod joined her in the housecleaning.

"Shit!" She yelled out.

"What?"

Parker grabbed several tissues off of his night stand as blood oozed out of her fingers.

"Sorry," he said as he tended to her injury.

"Since when do you have the habit of I'm assuming throwing glass against the wall?"

"Does it hurt?" He asked concerned. His hand squeezed hers lightly.

"Not as much as I've hurt you, Jarod."

Letting go immediately, he caught himself and backed off.

"I've missed you, Jarod. Help me remember what it was like when you loved me. I can't remember the way you would look at me with those eyes of yours. I can't remember when we two fit perfectly together. I can't remember anything about us anymore. Help me remember."

"I can't remember either, Miss Parker. I just remember how much I've hurt you. I remember your cries of trying to get through to me and I cut you off. And I remember Sydney telling me of the baby we lost which I never knew. I can't remember anything else, if we were ever truly happy. Must have been just a game to us. Well, game's over."

Jarod walked into the kitchen, opened his refrigerator and walked out back to Parker with a beer can in his hand. "Cheers." Popping open his drink, he gulped down and swallowed hard. "That felt good," he said and proceeded to finish it off.

"Have you suddenly become an alcoholic? Drinking won't make your problems go away!"

"Says the woman who never had a drink in her life. There's no tomorrow, only today," he held up his empty can to her. "I need another, want one?"

She waved her hand out into the air.

"Why? Thought you'd be happy, me picking up your habit of your love for booze," he laughed.

"You're scaring me, Jarod. What's gotten into you? You've changed." She asked as she stared at the stranger before her.

He shrugged. "Life's not what it's cut up to be. I'm tired of my pretends, I'm tired of helping everyone that comes my way. No one ever helps me out. Hell, not even Sydney! So, why should I even bother with other people's lives. Just tired of being Mr. Nice Guy all the time. What do I get back in return? Nothing. No more."

"Jarod..."

"So, look at me, Miss Parker. If you had any ideas of us getting back together, well, take a look at me. This is what you're getting. I'm the product of "The Centre". Cold and heartless. Hey, like how you used to be. Now it's a reversed situation. You seem to be the caring one now. But, don't let me be the one you're planning on saving. I'm way pass saving."

"Stop it, Jar. Just stop it. Is this because of the baby? I'm not blaming you for our loss. It's no one's fault. It just happened."

"Sorry, I couldn't save the baby. All the good deed I've done, is this what I get in return? I'm sorry, Parker. I'm so sorry for our loss." He walked over to the sofa, sat down and lowered his head. "I'm tired, Parker. I'm not that same person you came by to see. There's no such person anymore."

"Jarod." Sitting down beside him, Parker cried.

**TBC - Chapter 5**


	5. Chapter 5

"Nothing's the same, Parker. I don't want to save anyone, help anyone. All I want is to be left alone."

"You can't just stop everything you've been doing. Think of all those you've help, Jarod. Others who'll need you. I need you..."

"Shut up, Parker," Jarod said angrily.

"What did you say?" She snarled.

"I said shut up," he repeated. "I hate everything about my life. Can't you get it straight into that pretty little head of yours? Tell me what one thing of my so-called life that I should be grateful for? I have no family, I have no job, unless you count those stupid "pretends" of mine. Money? I have lots of that, considering I stole from "The Centre" when I left. But, money can't buy you happiness. What am I grateful for? Nothing! Not a thing."

Miss Parker rose from her sitting position on the sofa. "Not even me," she whispered hurtfully.

"Don't even go there. You think we'd ever be happy together?" He ran his hands through his much needed haircut. "We were never meant to be. You lost the baby. We were never meant to be a family," he said coldly.

"Are you done?" She placed her hands on her hips.

"Done with what?"

"Feeling sorry for your goddamned self! That's what!" Miss Parker screamed.

"Leave, Parker. Go back to "The Centre" where you belong," Jarod mumbled under his breath.

"I'm not leaving you in your condition! I have things to do here. This house needs overhauling. Heaven knows when was the last time you changed your sheets. The bedroom reeks of liquor! So, I'm not leaving!"

"Do as you please. Bill me for your services." He said walking out of the house. "And get out by the time I come back."

"You're walking out of the house half-dressed only in shorts?" She yelled out to him.

"I have a shirt in my car!" He yelled back. "What the hell do you care if I'm buck naked?"

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Jarod returned after several hours and found Parker setting the table. "I see you're still here. I told you to leave."

"I made pasta. When was the last time you've eaten?" She avoided looking at him.

"It's not going to work, Parker. You, playing house like this. You deserve someone better."

Ignoring him, she placed the pasta on the dining room table. He gently took hold of her arm. "Did you hear me? I can't be with you. I've been thinking a lot."

"Imagine that. Were you in your right mind? Thinking? Being that all you've been doing was drinking." She seethed.

"How can I get over you when you don't leave me alone?"

"I want you back into my life. Is that so hard for you to understand? I want you back!" She cried.

"Cry all you want. It's not going to make me change the way I feel about everything. What kind of life would we have?" He shook his head in disgust.

"I don't know. Let's just leave that to Fate."

"Fate was the one who planned this life of ours. Meaning, no life together, Parker. It won't work out."

"Fine! If you want to just throw away what we had together!" Miss Parker grabbed the platter of pasta and threw it at Jarod. "You forgot to duck! You clean up your own mess!" Her eyes grew fiery.

"That's the Parker I remember!" He hollered as their meal of spaghetti slid slowly down on him. "Full of fire! Rage! Look at us! We would always be yelling at each other. How could you possibly think we could be a family? Raise a family? We'd probably end up in divorce, I'll take the boy and you'll take the girl. What kind of life will it be for our children?"

"I would never split up the kids. I'd take both of them away from you! You're lucky if you get visitation rights! No, on second thought, you'll never see them!"

"If we're not fighting about "The Centre", we're fighting over the children we don't even have together! We've both gone mad!"

"Well, we would have had a child, if I didn't lose her!" She yelled.

"That's right. If you didn't lose her. Hey, no one's stopping you from going out there and having another one! You're still in your child bearing years."

"You blame me. It boils down to this, you blame me."

"I blame you. There! I've said it. I...blame...you...for the loss of our baby." He looked down at the splattered tomato sauce and noodles on him. "I'm taking a shower. I have no energy left in fighting with you."

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Jarod had become despondent. He was not the thoughtful, caring and yet, sometimes annoying person Parker had known all of her life. She missed that person. Somewhere along the way, what he had once been, suddenly disappeared. He was someone who had become a stranger to her. She needed to get through to him, to help him out in his time of despair. It frightened her that he would give up so easily. But, for the life he's led, who could blame him. "The Centre" was certainly no home for him. The only father he's known was a "shrink" who got paid for tending to his "ward". Not once had Sydney admitted to Jarod the love he actually felt for him. He was just a "pretender", one who could become anyone he wanted to be. But, who was he? He had begun to question his existence.

"Jarod, are you alright?" Miss Parker asked immediately upon his entrance into the living room.

"Is anyone ever alright?" He answered somberly.

She patted the spot on the sofa next to her. He sighed. Reluctantly, he joined her.

"I'm here, Jar. What's wrong? It seems like the wind knocked everything out of you. I want to help you. Please, don't shut me out of your life."

"What do you want me to say, Parker? I'm human, you know. I'm no super hero. I have feelings. It's just that my life...I feel that my life's been short-changed. I don't know who I am. I don't know if Jarod's even my real name. I don't know anything anymore. Do you actually want someone like me with you? I don't even want me to be with me. Is this there is to life? My life? Always searching...for I don't even know what. Is this the life I was meant to live?"

"Does it help to say that I love you? I love you, Jarod. Or whatever your name is. Do you still love me?" Miss Parker asked.

"Parker, what does it take for you to leave?"

"You're refusing the fact that we were meant to be. Do you? Do you still love me?" She looked sadly beautiful.

Jarod gazed into her eyes and pulled her into his chest. "The house...it looks nice. Thank you," he said feeling a bit guilty. "You even cleaned up the spaghetti off of the floor.

"I didn't mean to throw..."

"It's a good thing I didn't throw some back at you," he sort of laughed.

"Do you love me?" Again, she asked.

"Look, it 's already dark outside. I don't want you driving back into the city at this time of night. Stay here tonight and you can leave in the morning. Alright?"

"You're not answering my question. Do you love me?"

"I'll stay out here on the sofa, you take the bedroom."

"I guess I know the answer about you loving me." A tear slipped down her cheek.

"If I said yes, you'll never want to leave, but, if I say no, it would be a lie. Parker, if I fall, I don't want you around to catch me."

**TBC - Chapter 6**


	6. Chapter 6

Miss Parker hugged a pillow tightly to her chest wishing she could turn back time. A time when nothing mattered, but, just the two of them together. But, nothing lasts forever. She laid alone in Jarod's bed while he stayed out on the living room sofa as he had suggested. How was she supposed to sleep next to nothing? Thoughts crossed her mind of what their future would be like, if at all, there would be any.

Jarod stood at the foot of the bed watching his "Ice Queen" curled up weeping silently to herself. "Just for tonight, Parker," he whispered. "Just hold me."

"I thought you were asleep. How long have been in here?"

"Long enough to see how much I've hurt you. Just for tonight, Parker," he repeated holding out his arms.

Shaking her head, she softly spoke. "No, Jarod. Not just for tonight, but, always. You're my life. Don't you know that by now?"

Parker pulled herself up. Jarod joined her. "There was a time you wanted nothing to do with me. That is, other than bringing me back to "The Centre". What kind of life would we have for us? Or our children, if we're fortunate to have any? How could you possibly think we'll be able to have a life together? We'll always be running, hiding, hurting each other."

She wiped his tears away. With her long fingers, Parker caressed through his hair. "We can't hurt like this forever, Jar. We've gone through a lot. My world revolves around you. I love you!"

"No matter what, you'll always be a part of my life, my heart. You'll always be a part of me." He laid a hand on her chest. "My world seems to be crashing down right now and I can't get up. Pretending to be strong...I've never been."

"The stakes are higher when in a commitment. I'm here for you, with you. Please, Jar." Cupping her hands on his face, she kissed him. "I wish for you to be with me."

"Careful what you wish for. There's no way to reverse your wish," he warned her.

"I know what I want. I want you. And I'm willing to suffer the consequences." Tears welled up in her eyes. "I'll always run with you, hide with you, if that's what it takes to be with you. It's a whole lot better than me being without you."

Jarod released a sigh. "You're...what am I going to do with you?" He held her hand. She leaned into him. Kissing one hand, then the other, he said those three simple words. "I love you."

Then, he broke down. "Hold me close. What's wrong with me, Parker? I can't shrug off this feeling I have inside of me. I'm feeling useless. Everything seems to be crumbling down before me and I have no control of these feelings. What's happening to me? I feel like I'm losing my mind. And it's scaring me. I just don't know what to do."

Miss Parker held on to him and rocked him like a child. "Shh, it's alright. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. I'll be here with you."

"I wasn't allowed to cry. Geniuses don't cry. Did you know that? But, when Sydney left for the night and the lights went out, I cried. There's not a night I haven't cried. I was only a little boy. Wasn't I too young to have gone through the tortures in that hell-hole? I wasn't a man in little boy's clothing. I was never held or comforted. I was never loved. I lived in confinement. I was just a little boy. Couldn't they have seen that? I was just a little boy whom they expected a lot from. When I was left alone, I hid my fears under my blanket and cried. I knew they were watching me. But, no one came to my aid. No one held me close and told me that everything was going to be alright. No one tucked me into bed. Wasn't I lovable? No one loved me. I wanted them to love me, even if it was only a little bit. Not even Sydney. He couldn't love me back. And now I'm a grown man. What have I become? How did I end up this way? I feel hurt, pain. And I can't hide it anymore." The "pretender" cried loudly and uncontrollably. His body shook as he confessed everything he felt in the past.

"Jarod, oh my god, Jarod. I love you. It's going to be alright. I'm here. Cry. Let out all the anger you've bottled up inside those tortured years of yours." Miss Parker cried, too, as he clung on to her for comfort.

His tears rolled in a steady flow. He drew in a shaky breath, then released it. "Parker. You see, I'm not worth you loving me. You don't deserve this pain of mine." Still, he embraced her tightly.

"We'll get through this together. I promise. Nothing's going to happen to you. I won't let anything happen to you. Nothing. I'll take care of you. I want to take care of you," she said tearfully. "You're not getting rid of me that easily."

Suddenly, catching himself, Jarod pulled away . "Sorry. I'm so very sorry. This is my problem, not yours. Sorry to have burdened you." Lowering his head, he cried softly as if embarrassed by his outburst.

Miss Parker reached out to him. "It's okay. It's okay. Everything will be alright. I promise you. Okay?" With her fingers, she lifted his chin upwards, seeing his grief, she felt the pain in his broken heart. "Okay?" She reassured him.

He nodded painfully. "I'm not in control of my life anymore. How do I make all this pain go away? Tell me how? I had feelings, only "The Centre" never cared about what I felt. Everything was about them. Them. So, I ran away. And it's not any better out here in the real world."

"I'm in your world, Jarod. This is your real world. Me. Just remember that. You're never going to be alone."

"You're smart and beautiful. And one day you'll find someone who'll love you for all the right reasons. I'm not the one for you, Parker. I can't make you happy. You'll only be miserable with me."

Her blue eyes looked deeply into his sad chestnut colored ones. "Then I'll be miserable with you. We're in this together. Alright? We'll take it slowly. One day at a time. You need to heal from what's been done to you, what I've done to you. It'll will only get better, not worse, if you...we...work at it. Together."

"Together. Why?"

"Because I love you, Jar. I don't just love you, I'm in love with you." She kissed him on his cheek. "I promise to always be with you."

"At "The Centre", promises were meant to be broken. I don't want your pity." Jarod sat rigidly, took a deep breath and stared into nothing. His eyes burned, he looked away, then exhaled slowly.

"I'll always be with you. I'm never going to let you go. You need to rest, Jar." She pulled him into bed wiping the lingering tears on his face. "You need your rest."

"When I close my eyes, I don't like what I see." He encircled her, falling asleep several minutes later.

Having relinquished her crown title of "ice queen", Miss Parker cried. Failing to stop her tears with deep controlled breaths, she buried her face into her pillow.

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Miss Parker awoke to the gentle sound of Jarod's breathing. He laid peacefully, unlike his agitated state several hours ago. Tears stained his cheeks. She wanted to wash his fears away. Having feelings of isolation, worthlessness and lacking motivation, it tore her heart how detached he had allowed himself to become.

Slipping out of bed, she headed to a corner of the darkened living room, with her cellphone in hand, she waited impatiently for the voice of the party on the other end of the line.

"This is Sydney," he answered groggily.

She cried upon hearing his voice.

"Miss Parker? Is that you?"

"Yes," she barely spoke above a whisper.

"Is something wrong? What is it? Are you alright?" The psychiatrist glanced at his clock which read midnight. "Where are you?"

"How could you, Sydney? How could you have treated him the way you did?"

"Excuse me? Miss Parker? Is something troubling you?" He asked.

"It's Jarod. What have you done to him? He's suffering regressive memories of his childhood. How could you, Sydney? He was only a little boy who needed someone to love him. Have you ever had any tender thoughts?"

"Parker? What's happened to Jarod?" He worriedly asked.

"He's not good. He's falling apart. I've never seen him like this. Don't you love him? You were the only one he had at "The Centre". A child needs love and how could you have not loved him?"

Rubbing his eyes, the doctor tried explaining his reason. "You're very wrong, Miss Parker. I do love him. But, if I showed any inkling of affection towards the boy, it would have gotten in the way of... " His voice faded. "I've always loved him," he told his midnight caller.

"Then do something about it! Before it's too late! That boy is now a man. Are you going to wait until you put flowers next to his name chiseled in marble? On his ice cold stone?"

"No," softly, he replied.

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Miss Parker joined Jarod back into bed cuddling him.

"Who were you talking to?" He asked.

She kissed him on the lips. "I'm sorry I woke you. Just go back to sleep, alright? Let's just go to sleep," she said patting his arm.

"I'm not a child, Parker. I know I have issues, but, I'm not a child. So, stop talking to me like I am one. I'm asking again, who were you talking to?"

"Sydney," she answered meekly.

"What did you have to say to the good doctor? I don't need a shrink," he said annoyingly.

"Jarod, I just thought maybe Sydney needed to know what's going on with you, you know he cares about you and..."

"You're enlisting Sydney to help you with me? Just you and me...together, you said. Now you need his help. Am I such a lost cause? I don't need his help or yours for that matter. So, back off, honey, it's my grief!"

"Listen to me, Jar..."

Turning away from her, he mumbled under his breath. "I don't need anyone's help. Once I'm away from here, from everyone, I'll be just fine."

"Don't you dare turn away from me!" Miss Parker yelled. "You listen to me! Away? Where do you propose on going? You need help, Jarod. I'm here to help you if you let me! No, I take that back! I'm here for you whether you like it or not!"

Jarod rose from the bed. "Yell all you want, Parker, all the way into the living room, because that's where I'll be for the rest of the night."

**TBC - Chapter 7**


	7. Chapter 7

Miss Parker barely slept. It was six o'clock in the morning, quietly she tip-toed into the living room. Finding Jarod still asleep, she gently pulled the covers on him. It pained her to see him in a peaceful state, knowing that his demons were locked up inside of him awaiting to burst out.

She went to the kitchen and cried into the sink with the water running. Not remembering how long she stood bent over crying, she felt his arms wrapped around her from behind.

"I can't stop loving you...if I do, what will become of me? Alright, we'll do it your way. Don't cry. I've been making you cry lately. I'm sorry." Jarod apologized.

She pulled his arms tightly around her slim waist. "I said I would never leave you," she told him with sincerity in every word she spoke.

"Parker, I know I do need help, but, Sydney..."

She turned to face him. "You, Sydney...you two need to talk...to face your feelings about each other."

Jarod rubbed his unshaven face. "What, Parker? What do I say to him? To the man who never loved me. He may have cared...but, love was never in his heart. He never loved me. It hurts to talk. It hurts to breath."

"Please, Jarod."

"Alright, alright...just for you."

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The psychiatrist greeted Jarod with a warm smile, extending his hand out to him. With his hands stuffed into the pockets of his jeans, the "pretender" coldly nodded.

"How are you, Jarod?" Sydney lowered his hand in disappointment.

"As well as I can be," he answered, noticing how gaunt his mentor appeared.

"Miss Parker, it's good to see you."

She gave him a hug. Concerned, she studied him. "Sydney, are you alright? You're not feeling well?" It had been only a couple of weeks since she's seen her friend, but, somehow there was something about him which bothered her. Miss Parker couldn't pinpoint what her innersense was alerting her at that precise moment.

Sydney stroked his chin, a habit which he gestured unconsciously. "Nothing to worry about, Miss Parker. I'm just getting over a touch of the flu."

Jarod's one time "huntress" kept a watchful eye on her former "prey" and old friend, knowing they both were in an uncomfortable position.

"I don't know where to begin, Jarod." Coughing a few times, the psychiatrist took deep breaths.

"First of all, have a seat, Sydney. Welcome. Home away from home," he said sarcastically. "How is "The Centre", anyway?"

The doctor seated himself on the chair next to the fireplace, his hands folded onto his lap, he twiddled his thumbs. "As I was saying, I don't know where to begin," the old gentleman answered to his protege.

"How about the beginning, Sydney. How about you being a part of my imprisonment." Jarod flopped himself on the sofa across of him.

"I had no choice, Jarod," he said in his defense. "I was assigned to you. I was instructed to care for your well-being."

"I was nothing more than your puppet on a string. Jarod, do this. Jarod, can't do that..mustn't do that...no, no, no. You were just my babysitter. Had it ever occurred to you how I felt? I had feelings. You may not have thought so, but, I had...have feelings...," the "pretender's" voice trailed off.

"I know you did...you do, son..."

"I'm not your son...in your eyes I was never your son," painfully, he said. "My guess is that's the reason you never fought for me."

"I did fight for you."

"Not hard enough, Sydney. But, then, I was not the lone puppet there, was I? You were "The Centre's" puppet. I guess we were both prisoners. But, you were the adult. Couldn't you have done something? Anything? Instead, you left me each night and went merrily home. To your sanctuary. Did you sleep well on those nights? Knowing that I was alone and afraid?" His anger had begun to rise.

Sydney laid a hand to his chest, breathing deeply. Unaware, Jarod continued.

"I waited several years to escape. Must have been a relief for you when I finally did. No more tending to Jarod."

"I worried when you left. I worried if you were safe and sound, away from harm. I've always worried about your well-being."

He pointed to Miss Parker. "And yet, you joined her and her goons...to try and capture me. To bring me back to that hell-hole."

"Jarod." Miss Parker cautioned him.

"What, Parker? I'm just airing out my feelings about everything. Isn't that what you wanted? Unfortunately, this includes you, too."

"It's alright, Miss Parker, let the boy speak," Sydney raised his hand. She stood behind his chair.

"Look at me, Sydney. I'm no longer a boy. I'm a man who don't know where my life is headed to."

"Your life, Jarod, is with Miss Parker. And yes, you are now a fine young man."

"Jar, you need help. We're here to help you. Let us help you," Miss Parker begged.

"I'm here, aren't I?" He threw his hands up in the air. "So, when does my session begin, doctor? Or is my hour up yet?" Jarod said angrily.

Sydney spoke in between breaths. "Jarod, for all the misery I've never known I caused you, I am so very sorry. If I knew this would have affected you, I would have done everything in my power to have protected you, to have taken you away from that place." He coughed heavily, then clutched his chest. "I'm so...very...sorry."

Alarmed, Jarod immediately stood up, tending to him. "Sydney, are you alright? Parker, get him a glass of water." He loosened his mentor's shirt and checked his pulse.

"Sydney, sip slowly." Miss Parker held the glass for him.

"Thank you. I'm fine. No need to fuss over an old man."

"How long have you been feeling ill, Sydney? Have you been to a doctor? " Anger no longer filled Jarod's heart, only compassion. "Have you, have you been to a doctor? Tell me."

"I am a doctor, Jarod," he answered, evading the question.

"You're a psychiatrist. I've pretended to be a doctor, but, I'm not one." Jarod crouched in front of him. "Tell me you're alright."

Miss Parker sat on the arm of the chair. "There's something you're not telling us." She rested her head on his.

"You two have your life ahead of you...no need concerning yourself over me." He leant back his head, closing his eyes, drawing in a deep breath.

"Parker, call Broots. Find out if he knows something, anything. Don't worry, Sydney, we'll take care of you," Jarod reassured him. "We'll take care of you. Why didn't you tell us how you were feeling ill?"

"Didn't want you two to worry about me. You have your own problems to deal with. I didn't want to add to your problems...your worries. Just let me be."

Jarod held on to the psychiatrist's hand, squeezing it firmly as he sat quietly. The "pretender" watched Miss Parker at a distance as her telephone conversation with Broots seemed intense. He worried for his dear friend and hoped everything would turn out alright. Seeing the look on her face as she approached him, his heart stood still.

With all the suppressed feelings about "The Centre", Sydney and everything else which came about, nothing at that very moment seemed to matter than the health of his long-life friend.

"You rest now, I'll be right back, Sydney. Alright?" He voice sounded almost child-like when speaking to him.

Jarod pulled Miss Parker to the corner of the room. "What did Broots have to say? Sydney doesn't look well, Parker. What's wrong with him? And why the hell didn't we know about it? That computer tech should have told one of us."

Shaking her head, she embraced him. Her silence frightened Jarod. He heard his name called out in a whisper. Rushing immediately to his side, Sydney held his arms out to him as Jarod returned his hug.

"You've been waiting for so long for me to say the things that I've never said to you before. I love you. I've always loved you, so, don't ever forget that," Sydney sadly whispered, tears flowed from his eyes and down his cheeks.

**TBC - Chapter 8**


	8. Chapter 8

Jarod sat in the emergency waiting room biting his nail awaiting for physicians regarding Sydney's prognosis. Miss Parker paced the floor swearing every several minutes.

"Shit! What's keeping them so long? And where the hell is Broots?" She flipped the cover of her cell phone. "Where the hell are you? You should have been here ages ago! Wait until I get my hands on you!" She screamed into her phone. "There! I'm sure he'll get the message!" She hollered slamming the cover shut.

"Perfect, Parker. You know the poor guy's petrified of you. I'd run the other way hearing that voicemail," Jarod said as he sat back leaning his head against the wall.

"How long does it take to check him out? How the hell can you just sit there? You're a "pretender", well, do what you do best...PRETEND you're a doctor and get in there!"

"Cut it out, Parker." Jarod said calmly. "You're not helping matters by screaming your head off. If they're taking quite long, it means they're thoroughly checking him out."

"Or his condition worsened, whatever the hell he's suffering from! What in bloody hell is wrong with this hospital?" She hollered for everyone around to turn and look at her.

"Lower you voice. Parker, in the past two minutes, you've said "hell" five times. Cut the crap out! I'm worried just as much as you are and..."

Rudely interrupting him, she spoke clenching through her teeth. "And I hope you'll settle your differences with Sydney before it's too late."

Jarod ignored her remark shaking his head. Miss Parker's sudden cry of outburst startled him. "I'm tired," she cried out. "I'm so tired of everything. All I've been doing is worrying. Things aren't turning out for the better. I'm trying to be strong for you...for Sydney, but, I can't. I miss that "ice queen" in me, the one who didn't give a crap about anything or anyone. Where the shit did she go? When she left, she took my heart away, my cold heart, replacing it with one I can't handle. It makes me feel and I don't like it."

Jarod reached out, cuddling her. "Shh, it's going to be alright, don't worry about me. I'll be alright. And you've always been a softy inside. Emotions...it's overwhelming, to a point where it causes people to eventually break down. And breaking down is not a sign of weakness. Can't be strong all the time. That's not normal. We need to cry, sometimes more than others. That's what tears are for. I love this side of you." He wiped her water streaks from her face with his fingers, then leaned forward kissing her forehead.

Wrapping her arms around his neck, she laid her head on his shoulder, rubbing his face. "Loving you was the easiest thing I've done in my life. How'd I get so lucky?"

"I love you. I couldn't run forever. Without you, my life would be nothing. Sydney needs us now. Someone should be out soon to talk to us."

Their moment was interrupted by the sound of someone clearing his throat. Broots nearly fainted when Miss Parker immediately embraced him. Reaching out to Debbie, she hugged her, too.

"You're both finally here. Sydney would like this...all of us together," she said pulling away from them.

**JMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMP**

The old man, tired and weak, laid restfully in his hospital bed surrounded by his loved ones. His chest rose slowly with each breath he took and even slower breaths as he exhaled. Sitting in a chair, Jarod caressed Sydney's forehead in comforting strokes, Parker sat on the other side, wiping her tears away. Broots and Debbie stood at the foot of the bed and watched silently.

The somber atmosphere was broken by the psychiatrist's voice. Weakly, he spoke. "It's nice to see all of you here, although under unexpected circumstances."

Little Debbie was the first to speak. "Sydney, how are you? How are you feeling?"

"Better, dear, now that you're all here," he answered the little girl.

"You're going to be alright, aren't you?" She moved closer to him and stood next to Miss Parker grabbing his hand. "Aren't you?"

"In time, Debbie, hopefully, in time." He focused his attention to Broots. "You've raised your daughter well, Broots."

"Thanks, Sydney. Is there anything I can get you?"

"No, I'm fine. Thank you."

Jarod held in his tears. "Sydney, why didn't you tell us you were ill? Aside from Broots, Parker and I needed to know."

"Yes, but, with everything...you two have been through a lot...I told Broots explicitly not to bother the both of you. But, I was wrong. How could I have kept this from you. You are my family." He looked at each and everyone. "All of you."

"Family," repeated Jarod.

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"Your thoughts seem so far away." Parker sat next to Jarod on his sofa interlocking her fingers with his.

"Hated leaving him alone. I know how that feels," sadly, he said.

"We'll go early in the morning. He's in good hands. Are you going to be alright tonight?"

"Why? Are you planning on leaving, going home?"

"Do you want me here, Jarod?"

He pulled her into a kiss, tenderly. "Does that answer your question?"

"You haven't kissed me in such a long time," she whispered.

"I know." He kissed her again running his fingers through her hair. "I'm sorry for everything, Parker. I've given you heartaches these..."

"No," she shook her head. "It's me, I...I wasn't honest with you. I deceived you. It was a game in the beginning, but, I didn't mean to hurt you, I..."

"We've hurt each other enough...I'm tired of fighting, of hurting you...but, Parker, I can't pick up where we left off..."

"Jar? What are you saying? You don't want us together?" That slight gleamer of hope quickly diminished as she felt her heart slowly breaking into tiny pieces.

He laughed seeing the look of disappointment on her face.

She snarled at him, pulling away. "I'm glad you find this amusing. That's fine with me...if you don't want me! I'll be perfectly fine all by my lonesome self!"

"You always immediately fly off the handle. Listen to me, Parker. Just let me finish what I was about to say. Okay?" He brushed his lips on hers.

"What?" Her voice softened.

"Why not we start things slowly. Leave the hurting behind and see where it takes us."

Mischievously, she smiled grabbing him by the shirt kissing him passionately. "Like this?"

"I said slowly," he cautioned, although he held on to her tightly.

Again, she kissed him capturing his mouth with hungry urgency. "Is this better," she mumbled unbuttoning his shirt, running her hands on his bare chest.

Jarod moaned, "God, Parker, you drive me insane, positively insane," he said, slipping his tongue, darting repeatedly inside her mouth.

Miss Parker fought for her breath only for a few seconds before Jarod reclaimed her mouth giving her a long and drugging kiss. Undoing her buttons, he scooped her right breast out of her brassier, then the other, giving him a full view of the lushness of her breasts.

"Make love to me, Jarod," she begged grabbing hold of his hard, warm muscles of his chest.

"In the bedroom." He rose from his seat pulling her against his body. "In the bedroom," he repeated.

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It was four o'clock in the morning when the telephone rang.

"Who could that be," Miss Parker mumbled in her throaty voice as Jarod hovered over her to answer it.

He greeted his caller hoarsely. "Hello." Jarod listened to the person at the other end. "How is he?" He listened again. "Thank you. We'll be right there."

"Sydney's taken a turn for the worst?" Nervously, she asked.

"Get dress, Parker, while I call Broots."

**TBC - Chapter 9**


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note: I was checking online for songs on dads and came across this one called, "My Dad" by a singer named Paul Petersen. It's an oldie. Written in the '60s. Thought the words fitted the part on how Jarod felt towards Sydney.**

Miss Parker sipped her coffee. She came to the realization that her life was like the coffee, dark and bitter. She drank it black with no cream or sugar. Nothing in her life was ever sweet, so why would her taste be of any difference. The people she cared for almost always ended in tragedy, which called for the explanation of that facade of hers. As a little girl, Sydney had always been there for her. When her mother died, he comforted her. Secretly, in her eyes, the psychiatrist was more of a father to her than her own, that cold-hearted lying bastard she called "daddy." Putting her cup down, the "ice queen" lowered her head. Silently, she prayed as droplets of tears fell onto her folded hands.

It angered her of the growling, hissing, snarling, snapping she's done to him. All the while, the gentle, patient man never lost control of his temper towards her. There were so many heartwarming memories of the doctor which crossed her mind as a young girl. Then, there were the shameless ones, which tore her heart apart at that very moment, wishing she could retract every bit of disrespectfulness she had been to him in the past. Rising from her seated position, looking out of the window, her fingers touched the cold glass as a new day would soon arrive, a day which might not be of any existence to Sydney.

In his pretends, at times posing as a doctor, Jarod very well understood medical technology and terminology which caused him to shudder at the thought of what lies ahead of his mentor, if at all there were any future for him. Sydney had always been in his life. What would life be without him? Aside from "little Miss Parker", the psychiatrist was his only other friend while growing up at "The Centre." Although always being called a genius, he wasn't, for he was helpless as he watched the gentleman he's loved as a father laying motionless in his hospital bed.

Alone and lonely as night fell, young Jarod waited for Sydney every morning at the crack of dawn. He felt comfort in his arms as a little boy, but, knew he was just an assignment, questioning himself of that invisible boundary line which the doctor had drawn between them. Was he not allowed to feel anything for him, "The Centre's" lab specimen, lab-rat, Einstein? Thoughts of the father's day card he designed from his heart and "Curious George" toy he lovingly presented to him stuck out in his mind. He remembered the hurt as Sydney rejected, resented his gesture. Crushing him tremendously, he's never forgotten the feeling of pain as it ripped through his tiny heart. He was just a little boy looking for someone to love him.

Now before his very eyes, laid the man who hadn't known how to unmask his hidden feelings to this once lonely little boy until only a day before. Yet, Jarod hadn't returned the words of his love to him. Tears escaped his eyes in hopes it would not be too late to tell Sydney his feelings for him.

**He isn't much in the eyes of the world**

**He'll never make history**

**No, he isn't much in the eyes of the world**

**But, he is the world to me**

**My dad**

**Now, here is a man**

**To me he is everything strong**

**No, he can't do wrong **

**My dad**

**My dad**

**Now, he understands**

**When I bring him troubles to share**

**Oh, he's always there**

**My dad**

**When I was small**

**I felt ten feet tall**

**When I walked by his side**

**And everyone **

**Would say, "That's his son"**

**And my heart would burst would pride**

**My dad**

**Oh, I love him so**

**And, I only hope that someday**

**My own son will say**

**My dad. Now here is a man**

It was always him and his little girl. Debbie was all the family Broots had. Never in his rightful mind would it have come across him of having considered Sydney, Jarod and especially Miss Parker as an extension of his family. But, they were. He doesn't recall when it all began. Maybe, the friendship of his daughter and the "ice queen" was the beginning of their so-called relationship. His newly found family now consisted of the "pretender", the "huntress" and the "psychiatrist" of "The Centre". Who would have thought a bumbling computer technician would have ever teamed up with people out of his league?

Swaying, slowly back and forth, Broots cuddled his daughter in his arms as he sat next to Jarod at Sydney's bedside. Tiredly, Debbie kept nodding off that she eventually laid her head on the bed. Jarod reached over to the little girl. He gently rubbed her back, but, kept silent. His focus was on Sydney who slept unaware of the worrisome group. Miss Parker leant her body against the wall, somberly, she watched the quiet scenario, tears continuously and rapidly ran down her face.

Sydney's "family" were made aware of a more crucial condition which now caused the added set back to his angina attack. He ignored the importance of the recommended dosage for his hypertension which led to a stroke.

They waited what seemed like hours for the outcome of a treatment which the attending doctor had administered in hopes in ceasing the bleeding to his brain. Surgery was not an option, due to the fact he could succumb immediately on the table. The decision was to let nature in taking its course.

**TBC - Chapter 10**


	10. Chapter 10

Miraculously, Sydney responded to the drug treatment. Yet, he slept through his ordeal as his family waited patiently for his awakening. Broots sat in his chair, every now and then he'd doze off. Jarod grew restless as his watchful eye on Miss Parker impatiently pacing the floor had begun to irritate him. Debbie stood quietly next to the "pretender".

"Sit down, Parker," Jarod whispered loudly. "I know you're worried, but, pacing won't do any good."

"I could kill for a cigarette right now," she snarled.

"You quit smoking, remember? It's bad for your health."

"Then how about my scotch and soda?"

"Bad for your ulcers."

"Shit! Sydney didn't smoke, doesn't really drink, look at him! He goes and get a stroke! Shit!" She said swearing loudly that Broots jumped up out of an almost sound sleep.

"Parker! Watch your language!" He pointed to Debbie.

The little girl tugged at Jarod's shirt.

"What is it, sweetheart?"

"Is Sydney going to be alright?"

"I hope so. I sure hope so," sadly, he answered.

"Is it breakfast yet?"

He glanced at his wristwatch. "It's almost lunchtime. I'm sorry, with everything happening, no one's even thought about eating." He rose from his chair, stretched, then held out his hand to Debbie.

"Come on, sweetheart, let's go get something to eat."

"Daddy, Miss Parker, do you want anything?" She politely asked, tucking her hand into Jarod's.

Broots fumbled through the pockets of his pants for his wallet. "Maybe a sandwich and coffee."

"I got it, Broots. Parker?"

"Surprise me," she growled.

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"For a little girl, you sure have a huge appetite." Jarod reached over stealing a french fry off of Debbie's plate dipping it into a packet of ketchup.

"Uh-huh", she answered slurping on her drink. She looked around the hospital cafeteria. "Are these people all here to see their sick love ones?"

"Well, yes. But, some of them are the hospital staff."

"Is Sydney going to die?" Wide-eyed, she asked innocently.

Alarmed by her question, he fought back his tears. "I hope not. The medicine seems to be working, we just have to wait for him to wake up."

"Then, he'll be all better?"

"In time. That's where we all come in. He needs to know how much we love him and that we'll be with him through all of this."

"Miss Parker's mommy died when she was a little girl and she cries all the time for her. If my daddy dies, I won't have any family."

"We're your family, too. And your daddy's going to be with us for a long time."

She smiled. "Sydney is like your daddy? I'm sorry for your daddy, Jarod."

"Thank you, Debbie. Yes, he's like my daddy. You see, when I was little he was the one who took care of me. Taught me a lot of things." His dark chocolates had a far away look. "He even taught me how to tie a tie."

"I help daddy with his tie, when we go to church."

"You go to church?"

"Yes, daddy said it helps to pray. Sometimes we don't understand why things happen, but, we have to deal with it the best way we can."

"How old are you? Ten?"

"Yes."

"You're a very wise little girl. Your daddy taught you things very well."

"Did you and Sydney go fishing a lot? Have snowball fights and make snow angels? Play baseball?"

"No, I was...we...we just didn't have any time for that." He said, blinking back the water which built up in his eyes.

Debbie grabbed his hand squeezing it lightly. "Oh, that's okay. You can do all that when he gets better. I'll even teach you two how to throw a catch. Would you like that, Jarod?"

"Yes, sweetheart, I'd like that very much. Hey, we should be going. Your daddy's waiting and Miss Parker's probably growling at him."

She laughed. "I think he's scared of her sometimes, but, she's not really mean. How come they call her "ice queen"?

It was Jarod's turn to laugh. "Oh, it's just a nickname."

"Like when she calls you pezhead? Who's Einstein?"

"Ah, I see she talks about me to you."

"All the time. And you want to know a secret?"

"What?"

"I know Miss Parker loves you."

"Oh? Did she tell you that?"

"Uh-uh. I just know." The little girl grabbed her last piece of french fry. "Daddy yelled at me yesterday because I played with his computer and I lost something in it."

"He didn't mean to yell at you. Sometimes you yell at the ones you love the most," Jarod said sympathetically.

"So, that means that Miss Parker loves you a lot."

He smiled. "You think?"

"Well, she yells at you all the time."

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Jarod and Debbie headed back to Sydney's room with their arms full of drinks and sandwiches when they were greeted excitedly by Broots running towards them. By the look on the computer tech's smiling face, he knew his mentor had finally awakened.

"He's up. Sydney's up and asking for you, Jarod. He's up!"

Hurriedly, the "pretender" dashed to his bedside. "Sydney? It's Jarod. Can you hear me?"

"Ja...rod." The psychiatrist slurred.

"Yes, it's me. How are you feeling?"

He replied by nodding.

"We've been here all morning. You gave us quite a scare."

Sydney roamed his eyes around his hospital room, staring first at Broots, then Debbie. He smiled at them crookedly. Feeling the soft touch of someone's hand on his arm, he turned his head to the side. Tears leaked out of his eyes.

"Sydney. Welcome back. You bloody scared the hell out of all of us. Thank god you're back."

"Cathe...rine. You're he...here. Where...ha...have...you...be...been all..thi...this...time?"

"Jarod! No, Sydney, it's me, it's Parker. Jarod, tell him who I am," she said in a panic-stricken voice.

Jarod stood beside Sydney's long-time friend's daughter. "Sydney, she's not Catherine. This is Miss Parker. She's all grown up now. You do remember her, don't you?"

"Cathe...rine," he repeated.

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"He thinks I'm my dead mother!" Miss Parker yelled at Jarod in the hospital corridor. "What the hell did that drug do to him? Fuck! He remembers the three of you, but, not me!"

"Okay, okay, calm down. Let's just wait what the doctor has to say."

"What the hell do you care? He knows you, me, he forgets! I'm the little "Miss Parker" he comforted when my mother died! Catherine's dead, Sydney!" Angrily she said, then, burst into tears. Jarod tried to comfort her, but, she shoved him hard against the wall. "Get away from me! He has selective memory. And I don't seem to exist to him anymore. Why? What happened? I was the one with him every single day during our "you run, I chase" games. How can he not know me?

"I don't know, Parker. I just don't know." Jarod lent his head back against the wall. "I don't know."

"You don't know? You're supposed to be the genius here! Don't you know a thing?" She snapped.

"No! I don't know everything! I don't know all the answers. If I did, you think he'd be laying in there right now? He just had a stroke and you can't expect him to get better overnight, as much as we want him to. It will take time, lots of time, patience. Take it a day at a time. It will get better. I promise. Sooner or later Sydney will remember you."

Miss Parker fell into Jarod's arms tucking her head under his chin. "Promise? Do you promise?"

"Don't worry. The fact that he's up is a step to his recovery. He'll remember every single thing about you, alright?" He ran his fingers through her hair. "Every single thing. Now that's a scary thought," he said kissing the top of her head."

"I heard that," she said stroking his face.

**TBC - Chapter 11**


	11. Chapter 11

There wasn't much change in Sydney's condition for the past week. The fact that he hadn't remembered the "ice queen" tore her heart apart. Jarod kissed her salty drops. It was nightfall, Miss Parker laid in bed in the comfort of his arms.

"Are you alright, Parker?"

She shook her head.

"Parker?" His fingers trailed her arm lightly. "Don't worry. Sydney will pull through all of this and have a complete recovery. Don't worry."

"He doesn't remember me. Why?" She wiped her tears away and gazed at him at the same time he lowered his face to hers. He kissed the tip of her nose. "You okay?"

"No," she whispered shallowly from her lungs. "Touch me. I want you to touch me. I want to forget everything right now."

"Parker," he pulled away. "No. Not tonight. You're not clear of your senses. No."

"I want you, Jar." She trailed her tongue lightly on his bare chest.

"No, Parker."

She planted kisses on his neck. "Take me."

He muttered hoarsely. "Parker, no."

"I said take me." Tangling her fingers in his hair, she pressed her body onto his. "Take me, I know you want to."

"We shouldn't be doing this, you're not in your right frame of mind," he murmured into her ear.

"Touch me. I want to feel you in me. Touch me."

"Parker." He hesitated at first, but then, reached out to grant her wish adoring her with his touch. He undressed her slowly as she impatiently tore his shorts off.

Jarod held his "ice queen" in his arms and pressed his lips down to her opened mouth invitation, then kissed her wildly. With each movement, the "pretender" pulled her closer into him. He gently laid her onto her back, then proceeded to crawl atop of her, his mouth touched her naked body intimately.

"Oh!" Parker gasped when her "boy genius" found one of her sensitive spots. She lost control with each thrust as she clung onto his shoulders. Their bodies moved together rapidly until losing each other in ecstasy. "Oh, my god!" She yelled out. "Oh, my god!"

He in turn, groaned loudly in his final moments.

**JMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMP**

Several weeks past, Sydney's movements and speech had begun to improve tremendously. Everyone seemed to be more at ease on knowing he was on the road to recovery. It frustrated Miss Parker, though, that the only downfall was his lack of remembrance of her. Her "ice queen" persona had slowly crept back in.

"Hey, how come you're not dressed yet?" Jarod asked as he slipped on his black leather jacket. "Debbie and Broots are already at the hospital. Get dress, hon."

She shot a glare at him in front of her mirror. "Shit!" She yelled. "Get dress, hon." Miss Parker mimicked him.

"What? What did I do?"

"It doesn't bother you that our "shrink" friend still hasn't remembered me? He sees us everyday. And what does he say? Jarod. Broots. Debbie. I walk in, it's Catherine. Catherine? Catherine! He even knows his bloody nurse's name! But, does he know mine? No, he doesn't."

Jarod stood behind her and gently massaged her shoulders. He spoke calmly. "I know it's frustrating, but, he'll make a remarkable recovery. He's alert, eating well and each day, he's taking more steps. He won't be confined to a wheelchair, he'll be good as new."

"Well, he's lacking one less brain cell! His memory of me!" Miss Parker rose from her chair and rested her hands on her hips. "I'm not going today. He'll be fine without me there. I'm just in the way for his little family! I'm an outcast," she snarled.

"Parker, don't say that. He does know you."

"Aren't you listening? He calls me Catherine!"

"Well, you do look a lot like your mother."

"Are you trying to justify for him? I'm not my mother! You go to him! I'm not in the mood to go paying him a visit today!"

"What will I say when he asks for you?"

"What do you think? Tell him Catherine's dead and won't be back! Ever!"

"Louder, Parker! Let the whole neighborhood hear you!" Jarod rubbed his eyes. "Stop acting like a spoiled brat! I don't have time for your nonsense! Are you coming or not?"

"No! I'll just stay here in bed all day! He won't miss me. I'll just stay home and rot!"

Jarod grabbed his set of car keys off of the dresser. "Fine! You do just that. Look, I'll call you later."

"Don't call me. I'll be fine. I'm a big girl. You just go and take care of Sydney. You, Broots and Debbie. He needs all of you, his family, but, not me. I'm nothing to him. I seem to have never existed in his life. Damned old man."

Jarod sighed loudly and threw his keys back onto the dresser. "Would you have rather he not have made it through his stroke? He would have died having known you? Is that what you would have wanted?"

Alarmed by his questions, she softened her tone of voice. "No. It's just that..."

"Just that what, Parker?"

"I meant...you ask stupid questions. I-I don't know what I mean. I just want him to remember me, that's all."

"So, what's the big deal? Give him time. Don't rush him."

"It's easy for you to say. He has no memory of me."

"Well, maybe if you would have been a little nicer to him, respected him, he might have recalled you being a part of his life."

Miss Parker picked up her hairbrush and threw it at Jarod who caught it in mid-air. "The truth hurts, doesn't it, Parker?"

"You think I haven't thought of the way I've treated him? I have, every single day since he got sick!"

"Then be patient with him. If this is a preview of what it's like when I get old and sick, I..."

"Hey, you don't have to worry about that. Because I'd probably kill you first before you get to that point!"

"You know what? Do what you want. All you do is yell! I told Debbie sometimes we yell at the ones we love the most. And she said you must love me a lot! This is ridiculous! I don't want to fight anymore. I'm tired of fighting and you yelling. So, I'd better go on to the hospital before things escalate a lot more than it has."

"Bastard!" Miss Parker yelled from the bedroom as he exited out of the front door.

**JMJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMP**

Jarod walked into Sydney's hospital room to find Debbie reading him the Sunday comics. The psychiatrist looked beyond him as if expecting to see Miss Parker behind him. He frowned, rubbing his chin.

"Jarod," the old man said. "Where is your companion? Ah..." Sydney turned to Debbie. "What was her name again?"

"I said it's Miss Parker, Sydney. Not Catherine, her name's Miss Parker."

He smiled at the little girl. "Ah, yes, Jarod, Miss Parker. I think."

"You remember Miss Parker, Sydney?" Jarod queried.

"Debbie said that is her name, the woman with you."

"Sweetheart, where's your daddy?"

"Getting me a cold drink. I've been talking to Sydney about Miss Parker. Maybe, he'll remember her. Where is she?"

"Miss Parker?" Sydney looked towards the door.

Jarod ran a hand through his hair. "Well, I don't know if she'll be able to make it today. She had another commitment."

"More important than Sydney?" The little girl asked.

Ignoring her question, Jarod turned his attention to his mentor. "Do you remember Miss Parker, Sydney?"

"Sometimes it's a blur, I can't get a clear picture of her in my mind. I see Catherine, though. But, she's not Catherine?"

"No, it's her daughter. Remember Miss Parker as a little girl? You comforted her when Catherine died. She grew up. Miss Parker, you and Broots were a team."

"You run, she chase" game. I remember. That was Miss Parker, not her mother," Sydney said as if trying to stick her memory into his head.

"Yes." Jarod pulled up a chair.

"Ah, I see. So, where is Catherine again?"

"Sydney, Catherine died a long time ago. It's Miss Parker who's been here all along."

Sydney looked at Debbie. "The one they call the "ice queen"?" He whispered as if somehow Miss Parker would suddenly appear.

Jarod smiled. "Alright, you're doing just fine. I think you're beginning to remember her."

"I helped," Debbie chirped.

"I can see that, sweetheart. Thank you."

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Having felt guilty on her argument with Jarod earlier in the morning, Miss Parker freshened herself up, dressed in jeans and a blue tee-shirt, jumped into her car and headed to the hospital. He was right, she thought to herself. Jarod was always right, she was thankful that Sydney was on his way to recovery. After all, during her growing up years, he had always been with her through her tragedies and it would only be right to be with him in his time of need.

Upon entering the hospital room, she watched the patriarch as he was surrounded by his family. Gently, she grabbed Jarod's arm, which startled him at first, never having expected her that day. He hugged her lightly. Miss Parker moved to Sydney and planted a kiss on his forehead.

"I'm so sorry I'm late. But, hey, you have all this company with you. Can I join in the party?"

Sydney smiled. "Yes, by all means. I've missed you." Turning to Jarod, he pointed to Miss Parker. "Ice queen", right? You're the "ice queen". Come." He patted his bedside. "Sit."

Silence filled the room.

"Excuse Me?" Miss Parker snarled.

**TBC - Chapter 12**


	12. Chapter 12

"Excuse me?" Miss Parker repeated when she heard Jarod snicker. "What did you say?" She said to Sydney in a low sultry voice.

Broots side stepped away from her and expected to have pulled out her 9mm. Jarod held his breath for an explosion. But, it was Debbie who courageously spoke out.

"Oh, Miss Parker! See? He called you "ice queen". Your nickname like Jarod said. It's like when daddy calls me "pumpkin". He knows you now," she said happily.

"I-I don't think it serves the same purpose, pu-pumpkin," Broots said nervously.

Miss Parker held in her temper. Jarod felt daggers coming out of her eyes. Instead of a huge blowup, she had done the unexpected and sat at Sydney's bedside as he had suggested.

"How are you, Sydney? Have these clowns kept you company all morning? Talking about me?" She forced a smile at him.

Sydney stared at her with a look of confusion across his face. "Clowns?"

"Parker, don't confuse him with any name calling," Jarod said. "She means me and Broots, Sydney, if we kept you company all morning."

"Ah, I see. Yes, they have. What is your name again, dear?"

"It's..."

"No, wait," he held up his hand. "Your name, ah...I know you...it's...don't tell me now...ah..." Sydney looked up above as if her name had been spray-painted onto the ceiling.

"Why is it that you remember their names, but, not mine?" Miss Parker lashed out which echoed throughout the entire hospital room.

"Parker! Cut it out," Jarod scolded. "Sydney can't help the way..."

"Miss Parker, don't yell at Sydney." Debbie batted her eyes at her friend. "You have to be patient, he's getting so much better, don't you think so? Are you mad at all of us?" She squeaked.

Seeing the look on the ten year old's face, Miss Parker lowered her voice. "No, I'm not mad at you. It's just that, it's so frustrating to see him like this. I want Sydney to be one hundred percent well, that's all." She reached a hand to Debbie.

"Where were you all morning, "ice...", Sydney crinkled his forehead. "I'm sorry, I've forgotten your name again."

"It's Parker, the name's Miss Parker," she said calmly as she inhaled slowly and exhaled even slower.

"Yes, I remember now. Miss Parker. Then, who is the "ice queen"?"

Broots took hold of Debbie's hand, Jarod stood rigidly, awaiting for the unexpected. Miss Parker focused her attention on the trio.

"Well, I guess that's me," she answered softly.

"How did you get the honor of being crowned that title," the old gentleman asked as he held on to her hands.

Miss Parker looked at Jarod, then, at Broots, then back at Sydney. "I guess you could say I worked hard for it. I earned that title."

"Tell me," a tiredly Sydney said.

Letting out a sigh, she blinked back a tear, but, the drop slid slowly down her cheek. "I wasn't a very nice person. I blamed everyone for my sorrows, for my mama's death. I blame me for mama's death. If I had been with her, it might not have happened."

"Your mother? Catherine?"

"Yes. Catherine. I miss her terribly...," Miss Parker continued only for Sydney to interrupt.

"You're not to be blamed for her death. It was "The Centre" who caused you much pain, my dear. But, not everyone connected to the organization are evil." The psychiatrist cocked his head in wonderment of his statement.

"From that day on, I hated everyone, the whole world. That's why I'm called the "ice queen". I feel nothing but coldness in my heart," she confessed.

"Not so. If you want someone to love you, you open your heart. If you don't, close it. It's time to relinquish that crown of yours. I can see by that young man standing there, you opened your heart to him," Sydney said, pointing to Jarod.

Lowering her head, Miss Parker cried. She felt Jarod's strong arms wrapped around her shoulders. "Hey, come on. Sydney needs to rest. It's been a long day for him."

"We'll be here tomorrow," she whispered. "Sydney?"

"Yes, Miss Parker?"

"Welcome back."

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Miss Parker slammed the door behind her. Jarod followed into the house several minutes later just as she poured herself a drink.

"Where'd you get that bottle of booze?"

"I had a stash hidden. Why?" She asked as she gulped down her drink.

"Thought you don't drink anymore."

"Well, tonight I feel like it."

The "pretender" grabbed the scotch away from her. "No, drinking, Parker." Then, he laughed.

"What are you laughing at?"

"You. You were so worried Sydney wouldn't remember you. You should have seen the look on your face when he called you **_"ice queen_**", hon."

"Shut up! You think that's funny? If Debbie wasn't around, I'd have shot you, Broots and even Sydney!"

"Hey, if you pulled out your Smith and Wesson, it will trigger more memories into him," he said jokingly.

"Don't you bloody tempt me, pezhead! Cause you'll be the first one I'll aim at, right at your family jewel," Miss Parker stomped away, but, Jarod grabbed hold of her arm.

"Ah, come on, Parker. You must admit, it was hilarious. I think Broots was about to run out of the room."

"Do you see me laughing? No, I don't think it's hilarious. " She huffed.

"Just a little?" Jarod bravely cozied up to her.

She pushed him hard. "Get away from me, you snake. You think you can just slither your way into my life and wrap your coil around me never to let go?"

"It worked so far." He drew her into him, closing his lips on hers. "Hasn't it?"

Pulling away, she snarled at him and walked away. "I'm taking a shower." As she took several steps, she turned back to him. "Are you coming or not?"

His dark chocolates twinkled. "I'm right behind you," Jarod said as he pulled off his shirt and dropped it onto the floor.

**TBC - Chapter 13**


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's Note: This is the final chapter. Sorry, it took me so long to finish this story. Thank you for all of your wonderful reviews. **

Flashback

"Lower your voice, Parker. Sydney may have had a stroke, but, he can clearly hear you from across the room."

"The hell with you, Jarod! He remembers you, the man of many faces, his "pretender"! And that goofy, nervous computer tech, he remembers! Why can't he remember me? He seems to forget who I am the very next minute! Am I that forgettable?"

"And like I said before, if you weren't such an "ice queen"..."

"If I hear those words again, I'll bloody kill you! Who the hell gave me that name, anyway?"

"I don't know! But, it sure fits you perfectly lately!"

"Oh, now we're talking about your bedroom problems!"

"It's been awhile! And I have no problems! You're the one with a problem!"

"Look, loverboy! I'm just not feeling quite myself. I've been tired, I have no appetite..."

"Yes! And not to mention irritable! What's wrong with you, anyway?"

"Nothing's wrong! I'll be fine!"

"I sure hope so."

"Aww...is your manhood being neglected lately?"

"You should know! Sometimes, Parker, sometimes you're a little bit too much to handle. And right now, you're just down right annoying."

"Well, that's good! That will keep your damn pawing hands off of me tonight!"

End Of Flashback

Miss Parker stopped at the entrance of the door, she saw the gentleman tidying up his hospital room. She smiled, knowing that he was definitely back on the road to recovery. With her hissing and snapping at everyone, she triggered his thoughts back into his memory bank.

"Where is Jarod, dear?" The old man asked.

"He's signing your release papers." Miss Parker replied as she helped Sydney with his coat. "And then you'll be coming home with us."

"I'll be fine, Miss Parker. I'll be able to take care of myself. I won't be a bother to the both of you. You can take me home to my place." The old man insisted.

"Sydney," she snarled. "No. Maybe when you get a bit stronger, we'll let you go home. Jarod and I don't mind you staying with us indefinitely."

"No, no. Take me to my own house. I promise you I'll take my medication everyday."

"Sydney," she argued. "I said no! We almost lost you and we are not sending you to live all alone."

"You and Jarod could visit me anytime. It's an open invitation." The psychiatrist argued back.

"And again, no! Do you not understand? No is no. You're coming home with us."

He sighed. Reluctantly, he agreed. "Very well, if you insist, Miss Parker.

She smiled.

"What are you smiling about?"

"I like the way you said my name. There was a time I thought you'd never remember me."

"I'm sorry. It was so frustrating. I knew who you were at times, but, Catherine's name came to mind."

"I'm glad that's all fixed now."

"Hope you're eating well. How are you feeling, dear?"

"Fine. Why do you ask?"

"It's perfectly alright, Miss Parker. You'll tell me when you feel the time is right, but, do please tell Jarod very soon."

"Tell him what?" She queried.

Jarod rushed into the hospital room. "Are we all ready to go? I signed your release papers, Sydney. And Broots and Debbie are waiting for us at our house. We'll just have a little welcome home luncheon. But, you will be on a strict diet. You need to watch your salt intake. You need to exercise and..."

Sydney stroked his chin. "I'll be perfectly alright, Jarod. I was just telling Miss Parker that I can take care of myself, but she insisted I go home with you."

"You belong with us, Sydney. You can stay with us forever, if it's what you decide ."

"I won't be a burden to the both of you."

"Sydney," Jarod said. "You'll never be a burden to us. You belong to us. So, what were you two talking about when I walked in?" He looked to his old mentor and then to Parker.

"Nothing," Miss Parker answered. "Nothing at all."

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Jarod folded the newspaper neatly and laid it down on the coffee table. A little figure gazed upon him. She had been perfect in every way, flawless. There were no imperfection whatsoever on her beautiful face. Climbing onto the sofa and on his lap, with her chestnut colored eyes which she inherited from him, she stared into his, then fluttered her long eyelashes. Laying her head against her father's chest, she sighed.

"Tired, sweetheart?" He asked his five year old.

She shook her head.

"You just want to sit here with daddy?"

"Yes," she whispered.

"You want me to tell you a story?"

"No. Mommy's just being an "ice queen" again," she said as she straightened up.

"Catherine," Jarod paused, long enough to examine his daughter. He frowned. "Where'd you hear that from?"

"What?" She asked innocently.

"Ice queen."

"Daddy, you." Her pointer finger poked his chest. "Remember? Mommy got mad at you and you told her to quit being an "ice queen". I was listening."

"Well, it's not a nice thing to say," he scolded.

"But, you said it."

"I shouldn't have. And don't go repeating it anymore or your mommy will really get angry at you."

"I learnt it from you."

"Alright. Mommy will get angry at us."

"Are you afraid of mommy?" Catherine rubbed his cheek.

"Certainly not. Just promise me you'll never say that again."

The brown haired little girl placed her hand on her hips. "Okay. What's an "ice princess"?"

Jarod chuckled. "Why?"

"Mommy said that's what I am."

"You're her little princess, that's all," he said with a straight face.

"Oh. I poked Sydney. And he woke up. Mommy got mad at me. She said he needed his sleep."

"He does, sweetheart. He needs a lot more sleep than you do and he needs to be taken care of. He's in such a fragile state and needs extra care."

"How come Sydney had to live with us?" She asked, crossing her arms in front of her.

Jarod rolled his eyes. His daughter at times reminded him of a "Little Miss Parker". "Where else would he live?"

"With Uncle Broots and Debbie! Three of us here and three of them way over there." Catherine pointed out the window.

"Catherine, do you really want Sydney to go away?"

She shrugged as she twirled her ponytail around her finger.

"Do you, young lady?"

"Let me think."

"Catherine?"

"No. You and mommy will be sad. Maybe I'll be sad, too."

"You'll miss him terribly if we give him to Uncle Broots and Debbie."

"Okay, I guess we can keep him." Wrapping her tiny arms around his neck, she kissed her father on the cheek.

"Well, thank you."

"Daddy?"

"What, sweetheart?

"Can you tell Sydney not to drool when he eats? Mommy says I'm helping her a lot when I wipe his mouth. But, I don't like to do that. And he keeps kicking off his blanket," she squeaked.

"He can't help it. And you were such a messier baby than your brother," Jarod said.

Catherine laughed. "Not!"

"Yes, you were."

"I said not!" The little girl giggled.

Parker entered the living room as she held onto the newest addition to their family and smiled. "Can we join in on the fun?"

"Mommy!"

Jarod rose from the sofa, carefully Parker laid the baby in his arms.

"I'll carry him, daddy. Let me." Turning to her mommy, she asked cheerfully. "Can I, mommy? I'll be real careful."

"Sure, sweetheart. Alright, sit down and daddy will lay your brother on you."

Catherine cuddled little Sydney, gently she caressed his cheek. "Nice and soft. Babies are like that. Yes, they are."

Jarod wrapped his arms around his wife and kissed the back of her head. "See? And you were worried, hon. Catherine will be a great big sister to Sydney."

"I was named after Grandma Catherine. And you after Grandpa Sydney." The little five year old told her brother. "And when we get another baby, we'll name him after Uncle Broots! Right, mommy?"

As they listened to their daughter, Parker and Jarod laughed.

"Well, we'll see about that, sweetheart," Jarod said.

"Catherine, why don't daddy take your brother while you and I get dress. Uncle Broots and Debbie are picking up Grandpa Sydney and they're all coming over for dinner."

While growing up "Parker", grief was always within her reach. How could she have made very good decisions when her heart was always broken? After a hard day of the game of "you run, I chase", the "Ice Queen" of "The Centre" had no love to warm her heart at the end of each night.

Loneliness frightened her. As she walked hand in hand with her daughter, Parker stopped, turned back to her husband as he cradled their baby, then looked down at her little girl. She felt the warmth of her heart for the love of her family and it frightened her at times, though, that she'd eventually one morning wake up from a dream of make believe.

"Mommy!"

"Yes, sweetie." She glanced down at her daughter. No, she told herself, this was not a dream. It was a reality of her life. She was no longer the "Ice Queen". She was definitely "Married With Children".

**The End**


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